Monday, September 15, 2014
Inspiration takes many forms, and sometimes can be a small miracle.
Cass is the type of lady that always does nice things for others. For instance she’d press flowers and then give them away to others on the bus. However, she didn’t treat herself very nice. As outlined in Bondage Girl she struggled with a poor self-image, bad relationships and even drugs. Yet in others she sees good and trusts blindly. Helping out with the 2002 Remembrance Day celebrations Cass thought of the many who had given so much. They suffered the ultimate price. How did she suffer? She started to cut herself with the needle of the poppies they were assembling in school. It seemed like right thing to do – join in the suffering. It turned out to be a distraction.
The manifestation of pain would blot out her emotional concerns. One cutting episode let to another. Sessions became more intense and she started hiding razors in her bus pass. Like many cutters it can grow into a compulsion and any sharp object can take on an irresistible fascination. (see footnote) Regardless of the instrument, relief is just temporary and the underlying issues remain. Cass lost weight, developed eating disorders, started into drugs and then got pregnant.
It was the baby she carried that provided the spark of inspiration. How could Cass do for this child what needed to be done if she maintained the life style she had. Always one to do for others, Cass had to care for her baby and that meant no more cutting and turning her life around. The tattoo “inspired …” is on her arm above the many cutting scars. It’s a reminder of where she’s been and the inspiration the helped her make the break.
2 months after her daughter was born. Cass also had her daughter’s footprint tattooed on her leg.
A part of her baby will always remain with Cass.
As she grows, she is an ongoing inspiration to Cass. Sometime she puts her foot over mom’s tattoo and says “Look Mom, look how big I’ve grown”
Footnote: Cutting is a form of self-injury -- the person is literally making small cuts on his or her body, usually the arms and legs. It's difficult for many people to understand. Psychologists say “cutting” helps them control their emotional pain. See Cutting and Self-Harm: Warning Signs and Treatment also S.A.F.E. (Self Abuse Finally Ends) at http://www.selfinjury.com/ and